“Save Us the Hosehold Chores”

This was the title of an article published Saturday in The Monitor, the local, so-called independent Ugandan newspaper – and yes, the spellchecker must be the same used by the Daily Camera of Boulder. This article appeared as a part of a regular series on the battle of the sexes, a battle that may be on the backburner for you back home, but that is still quite controversial here in Uganda. In Gulu, in particular, I am regularly breaking the rules of female conduct, wearing jeans (associated with prostitutes in Kampala), riding on boda bodas without going sidesaddle, and enjoying a beer at the local cafes. Really, you almost never see Gulu women at a restaurant or bar at night, but men gather regularly. I am told that if a woman went and had tea with her friends at night that it would reflect poorly on the husband, as though he had lost control over his loose wife.

So let me give you a taste of what the writer of the “hosehold” had to say:
These days, men live in virtual fear because feminists are essentially eroding all that used to make a man feel like a man. The fires of women emancipation and feminism are burning far and wide and the resultant independent woman syndrome is wrecking havoc, breaking apart all that men stood for. The latest offensive by the women is the home. They are now demanding that men should partake of the daily household chores like preparing dinner, bathing the children, doing the dishes and laundry blah, blah. The women argue that since we all work we should share in the household chores…women should know that gender complementing and not equality is the in thing. Ladies should know that after the man has been up all day earning the bread and ensuring that there is shelter over the family’s heads, he should not come back home to do the dishes. I should be freed to watch CNN’s Business International…I must come home to a warm meal and not cold shoulder. For order to prevail there must be the leader and the led. This is what I call the bull and cow principle. In every relationship, there has to be a bull and cow. Two bulls break the kraal open.

The counter-argument by a woman: “Stop Grumbling, Do Some Housework”:
…I am saddened that this is 2004 and we are unfortunately still wailing about non-issues like doing the dishes, washing underwear, flushing the toilet…I know this male behavioral problem has a lot to do with the way we are brought up. But we should be willing to learn, so that we do not treat our spouses the way our parents treated each other, especially if we know the treatment was not fair. This means that although your mother, who was not employed, virtually did all the housework, it does not make your wife like her. If your father succeeded in turning your poor mother into a robot, you do not have to do the same with your wife…Unless you belong to the 12th Century or are actually a Neanderthal, you cannot look at your wife as a cook…or even a dishwasher.

I am always entertained/concerned when reading social commentary in Uganda, especially as my own research and work concentrates on how gender roles have been altered by the conflict in Northern Uganda. While communities broadly recognize the extreme burdens shouldered by women throughout the conflict (essentially holding families together, developing their entrepreneurial skills to sustain their children, taking on “male roles,” exposure to gender-based violence, etc.), I find that the Acholi are not broadly receptive to the idea of women maintaining or attaining status beyond their “traditional” roles. Attributes traditionally prized in Acholi women include loyalty, submissiveness, extremely hard working, and accepting of co-wives. My feel is that women are still largely regarded as property, perhaps on the same or slightly higher level to cattle. To say the least, this has presented an interesting challenge to me, as I work toward the integration of women in peace building. I will save my digression on this issue for another time, but thought some of you may find it interesting to get a feel for the type of current editorial issues here in Uganda. Any and all commentary is welcome. You guys are too quiet out there.

P.S. The pool is too algae-contaminated to swim after just one week of being operational. Resorted to frisbee at a British friend’s house, where the Ugandan woman who helps him out demonstrated an amazing propensity towards the sport. Maybe we initiate the first Gulu frisbee team?

P.P.S. I think I have mastered the art of hunting huge, creepy, mutant flying grasshopper thingees and preventing them from entering my room all together.

P.P.P.S. There has been power for a record 8 straight days in Gulu. Wowza.