That which cannot be reported

It’s really a shame that some of the most interesting and provocative events of my Gulu life go unreported here. Although it is unlikely that those reading my blog are linked to the places, people, and circumstances that are sensitive to report, I prefer to keep it safe. This journal is indeed public, so you never know who might stumble upon it and decide to take me out for writing about high-level figures (international and local), sordid affairs (note: not my own), peace negotiations, marriage proposals… At least this forces me to keep some of the details for when I see you all in person.

Yes, so I better move on from that. As I am wrapping up my work before the Christmas holiday, I’ve taken some time to reflect on my experiences thus far. Here are some of my conclusions:

1. Sometimes it’s better to just be a Canadian.
2. And even better to be a married Canadian.
3. Germans do love David Hasselhoff.
4. They also love to eat heavy, funny-named meats in the morning.
5. If the small things don’t matter, try sharing your bed with a mosquito.
6. There is no right or left, just branch.
7. “You are lost,” translates to “Where the hell have you been?”
8. Man, woman and darkness are a deadly cocktail (I owe this to a local paper headline).
9. Beans are a vegetable.
10. Scary, flying, mutant grasshoppers/crickets can be defeated.
11. Failure to pass the gather-and-carry-wood-on-my-head-and-travel-5-miles test would disqualify me from achieving Acholi woman status.
12. It’s possible to convince people to call their unborn children Kelly.
13. “Yes, I know it” by a boda boda driver means “I have no idea where you are going, but I want to make sure that I am the one to take you there, so rather than admit ignorance, we will drive until we are lost, when I will eventually give into your requests and ask other boda drivers for the destination, and then I will tell you that the price is higher because we drove so far.”

I will be leaving for a brief trip to Colorado where my Gulu colleagues tell me I will be experiencing a WHITE Christmas rather than a BLACK one. Gotta love it. When I return, I think things may get even more interesting. I will base myself primarily out of Kampala, but I intend to spend significant time in Gulu, but even more time in Kitgum and Pader, the other two districts which constitute Acholiland (and the areas that are more remote and even more neglected by the continuing conflict in the region). More to come on that front.